Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen (i.e., Ibn Taymiyah – may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Neither of the parents has the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses then he is not sinning by disobeying them, because no one has the right to force him to eat food he finds off-putting when there is food that he wants to eat, and marriage is like that and more so. As a child, we should not be rude to parents. But if the child is ‘in love’ with someone else, then how will they give this arranged marriage the proper dedication that it deserves? That applies even more so if you fear that her religious commitment may be affected if she has no one to look after her. You encourage your daughters to study hard trying to get good qualifications, which will lead to a good job. As a support to the marriage, the parents also play an important role in helping and guiding the married couple. So your boys will have to be strong, hence the need to develop their Taqwa. Help them, advise them, but do not try to control them. A lot of problems in marriages are actually brought into the marriage. Hence we as Muslims should not delay our marriage at all if the blessing is knocking at us on our door. To make it easy for parents, I have narrowed down the Islamic parenting to five essential principles. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w) has said: “When a man has married, he has completed one half of his religion”, “Marriage is my Sunnah (practice), those who do not follow my Sunnah (practice) are not from me”, There are three basic reasons for getting marriage, they are:-. If you put off their request for marriage because you want to get older children married first, then you will put them in difficulties and they may start a relationship, which will then put you in difficulties. If there is no Muslim among her guardians then a Muslim should act as her wali, such as a shar’i judge (qaadi) or Mufti, or the imam of an Islamic centre. The mother wasn’t completely wrong. TWEET. As-salam we 'alekum. If some differences crop up between the daughter and the son-in-law, the parents should side with the son-in-law, instead of siding with their daughter, even if the son-in-law … 6 Reasons Your In-Laws May Be Interfering with Your Marriage Destructive intruders and what to do about them . Therefore what would be the point of you marrying your child to a non-believer? A figure shrouded in controversy – will the mystery ever be solved? Sometimes a child will have ‘falling in love’ with someone who is not a Muslim, and informed their parents that they want to married that person. Below here are the 20 rights of parents in Islam that you should know. However the combination of these two conflicts could take a sinister turn in your life. Asim, his third son, who was unmarried, offered to marry the girl and the milkmaid became the daughter-in-law of the Khalifa and from their grandchildren came Hazrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz who became a great Khalifa of Islam and renowned for his piety and simplicity. Some force their child to marry a Muslim or someone ‘back home’ to cover up this problem. Allah, the Holy Prophet and the Infallible Imams have exhorted the people in this regard. Your child will be blinded by ‘love’, but you need to think ahead, especially when their children are born. Therefore parents need to be aware of the needs of their children. Therefore, parents are there to guide and help their children, they should not interfere in their children’s marriage. I am now 22 and study since 4 years away from home living on my own. When your parents interfere in your married life, have the courage to say NO. Sometimes when a marriage is having problems, the best suggestion maybe to ensure the marriage to work, is for the young couple to move out of the husband’s parent’s house. With regard to your relationship with this girl, it is not permissible for you to talk to her or see her, let alone make friends with her and be alone with her. They will try their best to avoid courtship but unfortunately, it is that very thing – their purity – which often attracts women. The relationship between mother-in-law & daughter-in-law should be one of mutual respect and understanding. The wife does not have to obey anyone among her in-laws, whether that is her husband’s father, mother, brothers or sisters, in any matter, major or minor, unless they tell her to do something which is obligatory according to Islam, or forbid her to do something that is haraam. In fact, having the guardian of the woman who is about to get married is a necessary part of the marriage process. rather than seeking a nice pious person for their child; right from the beginning, they have put a good job, money, position etc. 2 COMMENTS. before Allah, thereby, straightaway giving their child the wrong message. Of course, you should always be present, never leave them alone, but they should try to find out if they are compatible with each other. Sometimes, it is due to jealousy; the mother doesn’t want to cut the apron string, she still wants to ‘mother’ her son, not share him with his new wife. Like any other contract the marriage contract requires full and free consent of the parties concerned. Most Muslims believe marriage is a fundamental building block of life. I know no better bride than this girl of sterling character. Marriage is a very important institution in Islam. Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The parents have no right to force their son to marry someone he does not want. What does Islam say about marriage? It seems to us from the rulings on the scenarios mentioned above that the son should obey his parents in the second and third cases, and that it is definitely obligatory for him to do so in the second case. Maybe the child will continue the relationship with the person they have ‘falling in love with’ whilst married. They will be carrying this baggage with them into the marriage. There are a lot of verses in the Holy Book relevant to the subject. Such an action, in most Muslim families, results in the woman being isolated from her family with no support. I am postgraduate and so is my wife! In Islamic marriage, Muslim parents are not allowed to force their children into marrying someone against their will. I am married for 19 yrs and my children are 17 and 12 yrs old. Islamic Powerful Dua to Convince Parents for Love Marriage Keep your anxiety and questions aside and pray. It is good that you and she have thought of marriage, because it is the only legitimate shar’i way that you can be together, so do your best to attain that; but if that is not possible for you, then this relationship should be ended completely and perhaps Allaah will compensate you with someone better than her and will compensate her with someone better than you. - Articles on Topical Issues to understand Islam. The best gift to a child by his parents is his proper upbringing. What will it achieve, if a person just becomes a Muslim by name, perhaps doesn’t even believe in Allah? What is important to note, is that according to the laws of Islam, just like a young son or daughter is not allowed to disobey their parents in ma’ruf matters, so too, in the same way, a Muslim parent is not allowed to force their adult son or daughter into a marriage against their will, or to decide their marriage without consulting them/garnering their consent first. It is definite that he should not obey them in the fifth case, which is where they force him to marry a girl whom they have chosen. I desire that one of you should take this girl as a wife. You should remember that because it is permissible for you to marry whomever you want and you do not have to obey your parents (in this matter), you should not fear their du’aa’ against you or their being angry with you, because that is a sinful du’aa’ which Allaah will not accept from them, in sha Allaah, unless you are wronging them and transgressing against them. In Islam, marriage is about two families coming together as well as a husband and wife. Now comes the time when the mothers should not be nosey about the affairs of their daughters. Sadly these days a lot of marriages are breaking up and ending in divorce. You should understand that these sins mean that you must give them up, regret doing them and resolve not to do them again, as well as praying a great deal for forgiveness and doing righteous deeds. Your children need to be reassured that you will find them a good match. 26890 and 10221. The answer to all your questions will be provided by Allah the Merciful but there is a way to get it from Him. June 30, 2015 at 4:52 PM. No wonder most parents find it hard to raise productive and pious children! The outlook and expectation of the youngsters is all wrong. Ibn ‘Umar, may God be pleased with him, said, “God has called them the ‘dutiful’ (al-Abrar) because they are dutiful to their parents and children. 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